Dr. Kevorkian

I fell asleep
can't remember waking up
just my luck
checked the alarm clock
But it had bullet holes in it
guess that's why this gun was in my hand
and I felt a draft through my hair
looked in the mirror
same hole as those in the clock
panicking and shocked
grabbed some alcohol pads and band aids
covered it quick
but this bleeding from my wrist wouldn't stop
serrated skin
fucked up my tattoo a little
but as I tried to place my head up right
stacked on bones so brittle
the nouse fell off
which in turn made me throw up
blue pills
an amount that could fill the bottle back up
this murky liquid reeked of alcohol, depression and shame
to the mirror, back
eye fucking the only person to blame
when I noticed a white paper
covered in blood and stomach fluid
open it up and skimmed through
It read:
Dear miss lady who shall remain nameless
I wrote you this letter
enclosed, my body and soul
and these random but calculated acts I thought were painless
hurt more than being in love with you
so as my face appears cyanotic, blue
similar to that j. holiday song
suffocate
and with this noose I can't breath
deceived me
so I aimed for my temporal lobe 

in hopes I couldn't hear the lies anymore
the hole makes my brain cold
at least it stopped the alarm clock
even the advertisement on the pills lied
I lie there waitin to fall asleep

heart slowed

although I was still wide awake
couldn't eat or slumber
body grew limp and number
and the diagnosis was you
it was only after I my wrist
to get

the last of this love out
I became light headed and tired
Still wired 

from the 3 empty patron bottles on the bedroom floor
convulsed a bit
alcohol poisoning isn't as funny as it looks on TV
But at least I ate

fell far from awake
I'm in really bad shape
save me
just tell me you love what I was

can i have that satisfaction
I know I may look different 

from you're NY winter

but at least you can look beneath the surface

know this is real
see my mind isn't lying
I'm not insensitive
can't you see my wrists are crying
and on the bathroom floor you can see that my insides do count
please take me back
the clock is ruined
but we still got time...

right?
tell me
the suspense is killing me



Or did I do a better job?